The problem is that our human society is very competitive. Many of us are rather weak creatures and the smartest ones try to overcome it. But not everyone succeeds. You can complain at work or to your friends about your recent misfortunes and your listeners will tell you that they are sorry. The sad truth it that they are not really that sorry about your troubles. They aren’t necessarily happy but deep inside your audience will feel a bit better that this is not their problem.
If you don’t believe me observe in detail your feelings when someone complains to you about their life. You feel compassion if it’s your relative, of course. But as of others – in most of the cases you feel a bit superior that you did not get yourself in that kind of trouble, or you just don’t care. Be honest! It doesn’t mean that you are evil. It’s just that we are like that by nature. It is a healthy egotism.
It might be a problem when you are really happy while someone is hurt. It is not normal. You should watch yourself. If this makes you happy, it means you are not self-confident enough, you need someone to suffer in order to feel superior. That should not happen. It is a sign of weakness if you do that. Someone else’s misfortunes should be taken seriously but not too much, compassionately but without hidden joy. If you notice such negative feelings in your attitude towards others, try to improve your character and become a bigger person.
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